Wayno (Your Not Elvis Bro) Josh

Wayne loved nothing more than to go down the local in Ol’ Blighty and sinking a few warm ones with the ‘guv. But when Wayne had a few too many, he would grab a karaoke mike and blurt out old Elvis numbers. Soon Wayne was kicked out of the pub. ‘I’m going to the pub up the road you pack of big manly pratts’ said Wayne. Hey bro, you’re beached as’ said the bouncer. Wayne thought ‘weird fucked up accent’ and off Wayne went. Soon enough, Wayne / Karaoke / Elvis is banned by bouncers from another pub. ‘Cheers Bro’ said the bouncer. Wayne thought ‘is the same weird fucked up accent again’? Eventually banned from all the pubs in London, Wayne moved to Australia to sing Elvis.

But Wayne stuffed up…the same bouncers were in Australia. ‘We’re Maoris’ bro, and our people hate Elvis bro. You’ll never sing Elvis in any pub in the world bro, while a Maori is on the door bro’. Wayne researched this problem on Google, and found out that it’s true, Maoris are on the door of every pub in the world. Wayne also realised all Maori bouncers are trained in the NZ School of Bouncometry in New Zealand!

‘I’m going to NZ to close down that school, or I’ll never be able to sing cheesy Elvis numbers in the pub again’!